This Isn't A Travel Blog

Talk about Costa Rica, but also the first big trip in a relationship.

Although Indonesia has a special place in my heart…a lot of Indonesia is fucked right now. Bali will always be fine regardless of what happens around it. As long as the Chrissy Teigen’s of the world continue to post selfies of themselves breastfeeding while in Bali, Bali will continue to be popular. On the other hand, a place like Lombok, an under the radar destination that contains so much natural beauty, will struggle for a long time. The devastation from two ~7.0 earthquakes will set them back years. In theory, through humanitarian relief efforts, buildings will be rebuilt, rice patties replanted, etc. But in terms of tourism, they will suffer. For an economy that starves for foreign intervention, two earthquakes will keep tourists at bad. This is both saddening and frustrating. So much beauty, largely unseen beauty, will remain undiscovered because of the fear of another natural disaster.

I generally try to avoid flying in and out of Newark airport because it’s a hellhole filled with some of the lowest, god-forsaken people on Earth. However, the flight we booked via Avianca Airlines was very cheap and worked nicely with both of our work schedules. An unpleasant experience at Newark is a certainty- it’s an unwritten understanding when flying in and out of there. But no one could have anticipated or foreseen what was about to unfold.

We arrived at the airport approximately three hours early to take advantage of the free booze and food at the lounge (access via Priority Pass)- when we arrived at the baggage check line, it was mobbed. There were around 20 large South American families consisting of 5-8 family members per family unit- and each unit had about 10 large bags to check. Huge carts full of luggage. Clearly everyone had made a quick stopover to the US of A to load up on supplies to bring back to their home countries. Well, now we were fucked. Grace and I, who were checking one bag between the two of us, had to wait approximately 30 minutes per family to process their bags. It did not help that the Avianca employees were some of the most inept, incompetent, dimwitted, empty-minded human beings I’ve ever encountered. Those characterizations are not understatements or dramatized in any way.

After standing in line for nearly two hours, we began to get concerned that there was a chance we’d miss our flight. Amidst all of this, we saw a man behind us fall flat on his back, almost cartoonish in how rigid his body was as he was falling. The loud thud startled everyone in line- and it was immediately evident that this man was in grave danger. People were screaming for help and to call 911- one of the numbnut employees came over and stood there with tears in here eyes, completely stunned. I appreciate that she was emotional and cared about another’s life…but people were desperately urging her to do something given she works at the airport. I even said, “CALL 911”, but she was frozen. Luckily a good Samaritan intervened and began CPR while another called 911. Eventually the airport EMTs came over and revived the man. When it was our turn to check our bag, we immediately walked away from the scene of the incident. Not to sound cold, but honestly, if I had a choice between checking my bag or saving that man’s life, I would have checked my bag 100/100 times. I don’t know this man- who cares. People die every day. I’m not missing a trip to Costa Rica.

At last, we had made it through security and headed to the bar near our terminal- naturally the Priority Pass lounge is prior security. After downing two quick drinks at a restaurant/bar, the fire alarms began to go off. And these were not your little elementary school fire alarms. I’m not sure who designed this model of fire alarms, but it was as if the intention was to make one feel as though someone was standing next to them with a machete and repeatedly stabbing them in the ears while simultaneously screaming through a megaphone “HEY ASSHOLE, THERE’S A FIRE. HEY ASSHOLE, THERE’S A FIRE”. We had to put our headphone buds in the try to plug our ears from the onslaught, which helped a smidge. The alarms continued to ring for 30 minutes. At that point I truly wished that there was an actual fire so we could all be put out of our misery.

At last, it was time to board. The one positive of Avianca was the unlimited alcohol on the plane. After all of that, it was time to drown myself. I cleaned them out of their red wine, so then it was time to pivot to whiskey. I mean, how am I supposed to watch Green Book without a beverage? It’s how the movie was intended to be viewed.  Just ask Peter Farrelly.

We arrived in San Salvador for a brief layover and a beer (for me), and then an hour later were in San José. Given we landed a little after 11PM, we booked a room at the Airport Hampton Inn. Luckily there was a shuttle from the airport, so we headed right there and went to sleep given we were waking up early to head to Enterprise to grab our rent-a-car and drive south to Manuel Antonio.

We woke up early to get our rental car and make the most out of a day in Manuel Antonio, so took advantage of the continental breakfast beforehand. The food was pretty solid actually, with a nice range of typical breakfast dishes to more local dishes with rice and beans. There were two immensely seminal discoveries made during this breakfast:

1.      The pineapple in Costa Rica is unbelievably fresh

2.      Most importantly, Tabasco Banquette is next level hot sauce, and would lead us to go out of our way throughout the trip in search of it

After breakfast, we took the shuttle service from the hotel back to the airport, where we would able to catch another shuttle service that would take us to the Enterprise headquarters in San José. As would be a reoccurring theme throughout the trip, the driver of the Enterprise shuttle was super friendly- I was able to have a limited conversation with him in Spanish, and he asked us where we were from, where we planned on going throughout our stay, made some recommendations for each of the destinations, etc. According to HappyPlanetIndex.org, Costa Rica has the happiest people of any country in the world. What a ridiculous website. How do you measure and qualify happiness? Absolute horseshit. I mean, they do have a pretty in depth methodology to back their data, but still, absolute horseshit. Neverthless, I love that driver. Shout out to the enterprise shuttle driver that does the morning shift.

I had read about and heard about all of the horror stories around renting a car in Costa Rica- the crappiness and narrowness of the roads, how roads are often closed due to flooding or mudslides, etc. But I didn’t care. I felt that if I could drive in Indonesia on the opposite side of the road I was accustomed to driving on, with vespas driving directly at you until they swerve at the last second to avoid a head on collision (not to mention livestock and chickens and people crossing the street without a care in the world), then I could drive in Costa Rica. When the Enterprise agent asked if I wanted to upgrade to a SUV, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. I mean in my mind, an SUV would be a better choice because it assure that we would be able to scale a sharp incline and fit our luggage comfortably. Plus fuck it, why not ball out while on vacation and ride in style while everyone else drives little shitty Toyota Yaris. Well, this choice proved not to be the wisest. Once we hit our first off highway road we realized that the width of the road is not made for an SUV. I basically had one inch to the right of me before I would be in a ravine, and one inch to the left of me or else I would get clipped by oncoming traffic. Cool. Just 9 more days of driving.

The drive to Manuel Antonio was approximately 2 ½ hours. Getting out of San José was initially stressful- it required driving on the aforementioned narrow local roads with random pedestrians walking without looking (reminiscent of Indonesia). But once we got to the highway, it got better. The crazy thing is that Manuel Antonio is roughly 40 miles away from San José, yet the roads (other than the highway) are so windy, narrow and bumpy that cars can’t really exceed 40 kilometers per hour. When we ascended up the hill to get in Manuel Antonio, we were a bit confused as to how to get to the beach- intuitively, going uphill does not lead to a beach. However, we continued along the main road until we hit a dramatic decline, of pure jungle, and a random guy started gesturing at us and luckily directed us to park directly onto the beach.

The beach was beautiful, and because it’s within the national park, we could tell it was a bit more commercially built up. It wasn’t overly crowded by any means- but there were people roaming around trying to sell knickknacks, not afraid to directly approach you and shake some weird lizard maraca in your face. It’s amazing- how the hell do they walk back and forth on the beach all day carrying a heavy backpack in a long sleeve shirt and pants? Obviously they don’t want to get sunburnt- but it’s hot as hades out there. I don’t envy them for a second. We hung out by the beach for a few hours- I usually get pretty stir crazy on the beach after 60 minutes, but after the initial travel day and long drive, it was just nice to be doing something. And to feel that the trip had officially begun.

We had heard that sunset was a must-see in Manuel Antonio, so we didn’t stay at the beach too long- after all, we still needed to check into our AirBnB. Our AirBnB was up the hill and off of the main road away from all of the hotels and bars- our SUV barely fit through the main gate. Although the space itself was blazing hot (no AC), it was pretty nice. We were basically smack in the jungle. The sheer sounds coming from the trees were amazing- birds, monkeys, and the familiar sound of roosters screaming their heads off . We even spotted a toucan on our first day...although we were really gunning for a sloth (we just expected that there would be sloths everywhere and out in the open). We picked up some booze in the airport and had a few drinks, and then headed off to the main strip to find a restaurant to view the sunset.

I had done a smidge of restaurant research in Manuel Antonio, and our AirBnB hosts had a comprehensive leaflet on everything to do in Manuel Antonio, so we decided on Barba Roja (appropriate name for me given it means “red beard”)- a bar with a variety of food options, and most importantly, facing the sun. The food was solid, but was barely of interest compared to the stunning sunset; such vibrant colors, the ideal mix of amber/orange/pink that makes one appreciate the beauty in this world and injects inspiration and aspiration into the soul. Oh and the Guaro Sours injected some inspiration and aspiration as well.

After breakfast, we took the shuttle service from the hotel back to the airport, where we would able to catch another shuttle service that would take us to the Enterprise headquarters in San José. As would be a reoccurring theme throughout the trip, the driver of the Enterprise shuttle was super friendly- I was able to have a limited conversation with him in Spanish, but he asked us where we were from, where we planned on going throughout our stay, the best places to go within those destinations, etc. According to HappyPlanetIndex.org (what kind of ridiculous website is that, how do you measure happiness? Absolute horseshit.), Costa Rica has the happiest people of any country in the world. Regardless, I love that guy. Shout out to the enterprise shuttle driver that does the morning shift.

Although Indonesia has a special place in my heart…a lot of Indonesia is fucked right now. Bali will always be fine regardless of what happens around it. As long as the Chrissy Teigen’s of the world continue to post selfies of themselves breastfeeding while in Bali, Bali will continue to be popular. On the other hand, a place like Lombok, an under the radar destination that contains so much natural beauty, will struggle for a long time. The devastation from two ~7.0 earthquakes will set them back years. In theory, through humanitarian relief efforts, buildings will be rebuilt, rice patties replanted, etc. But in terms of tourism, they will suffer. For an economy that starves for foreign intervention, two earthquakes will keep tourists at bad. This is both saddening and frustrating. So much beauty, largely unseen beauty, will remain undiscovered because of the fear of another natural disaster.

Although Indonesia has a special place in my heart…a lot of Indonesia is fucked right now. Bali will always be fine regardless of what happens around it. As long as the Chrissy Teigen’s of the world continue to post selfies of themselves breastfeeding while in Bali, Bali will continue to be popular. On the other hand, a place like Lombok, an under the radar destination that contains so much natural beauty, will struggle for a long time. The devastation from two ~7.0 earthquakes will set them back years. In theory, through humanitarian relief efforts, buildings will be rebuilt, rice patties replanted, etc. But in terms of tourism, they will suffer. For an economy that starves for foreign intervention, two earthquakes will keep tourists at bad. This is both saddening and frustrating. So much beauty, largely unseen beauty, will remain undiscovered because of the fear of another natural disaster.

Although Indonesia has a special place in my heart…a lot of Indonesia is fucked right now. Bali will always be fine regardless of what happens around it. As long as the Chrissy Teigen’s of the world continue to post selfies of themselves breastfeeding while in Bali, Bali will continue to be popular. On the other hand, a place like Lombok, an under the radar destination that contains so much natural beauty, will struggle for a long time. The devastation from two ~7.0 earthquakes will set them back years. In theory, through humanitarian relief efforts, buildings will be rebuilt, rice patties replanted, etc. But in terms of tourism, they will suffer. For an economy that starves for foreign intervention, two earthquakes will keep tourists at bad. This is both saddening and frustrating. So much beauty, largely unseen beauty, will remain undiscovered because of the fear of another natural disaster.

Although Indonesia has a special place in my heart…a lot of Indonesia is fucked right now. Bali will always be fine regardless of what happens around it. As long as the Chrissy Teigen’s of the world continue to post selfies of themselves breastfeeding while in Bali, Bali will continue to be popular. On the other hand, a place like Lombok, an under the radar destination that contains so much natural beauty, will struggle for a long time. The devastation from two ~7.0 earthquakes will set them back years. In theory, through humanitarian relief efforts, buildings will be rebuilt, rice patties replanted, etc. But in terms of tourism, they will suffer. For an economy that starves for foreign intervention, two earthquakes will keep tourists at bad. This is both saddening and frustrating. So much beauty, largely unseen beauty, will remain undiscovered because of the fear of another natural disaster.

Although Indonesia has a special place in my heart…a lot of Indonesia is fucked right now. Bali will always be fine regardless of what happens around it. As long as the Chrissy Teigen’s of the world continue to post selfies of themselves breastfeeding while in Bali, Bali will continue to be popular. On the other hand, a place like Lombok, an under the radar destination that contains so much natural beauty, will struggle for a long time. The devastation from two ~7.0 earthquakes will set them back years. In theory, through humanitarian relief efforts, buildings will be rebuilt, rice patties replanted, etc. But in terms of tourism, they will suffer. For an economy that starves for foreign intervention, two earthquakes will keep tourists at bad. This is both saddening and frustrating. So much beauty, largely unseen beauty, will remain undiscovered because of the fear of another natural disaster.

Although Indonesia has a special place in my heart…a lot of Indonesia is fucked right now. Bali will always be fine regardless of what happens around it. As long as the Chrissy Teigen’s of the world continue to post selfies of themselves breastfeeding while in Bali, Bali will continue to be popular. On the other hand, a place like Lombok, an under the radar destination that contains so much natural beauty, will struggle for a long time. The devastation from two ~7.0 earthquakes will set them back years. In theory, through humanitarian relief efforts, buildings will be rebuilt, rice patties replanted, etc. But in terms of tourism, they will suffer. For an economy that starves for foreign intervention, two earthquakes will keep tourists at bad. This is both saddening and frustrating. So much beauty, largely unseen beauty, will remain undiscovered because of the fear of another natural disaster.